Me and My Shadow by Rev Debbie Moss

"GOOD DOES NOT BECOME BETTER BY BEING EXAGGERATED, but worse, and a small evil becomes a big one through being disregarded and repressed. The shadow is very much a part of human nature, and it is only at night that no shadows exist. " - Psychology and Religion: West and East, written in 1937 by Carl Jung.

Most of us are familiar with Carl Jung's work on the "shadow side" of human beings. This shadow has been called the dark side, alter ego, evil twin, lower self, repressed self, and even Satan or the devil. We all remember Flip Wilson's funny alter ego and her admission of "the devil made me do it." Even Jessica, the female cartoon character, said, "I'm not really bad; I'm just drawn that way."

I believe that to really be authentically who I am, who God created me to be, I must also be very aware of my "shadow side." What does this mean to me and how does becoming aware of my shadow side help me in my quest for wholeness? I can't experience wholeness until I live in integrity with myself. I must be aware of both sides of my personality: the good and the shadow part of me.

About eight years ago I attended a workshop facilitated by Maria Nehmeth, PhD, author of The Energy of Money and Life's Energies. It turned out to be one of those defining opportunities for me to see more of myself than I had acknowledged previously.

I had always thought of myself as a "peace-maker." Although I often am the one to make peace, I also learned of my basic assumption, basic nature, . . . ok, well, my shadow side. My basic assumption in life is based on fight, not flight - not freeze, but fight. A fighter is the direct opposite of a peace-maker, yet I am both. Just like this story of the Native American Indian grandfather:

A Native American Indian grandfather in a conversation with his grandson told the story of the two wolves. "Within every person there two wolves, one good wolf and one bad wolf, and they are always fighting each other." His grandson asked the question, "Which one wins?" Grandfather answered his grandson, "The wolf you feed."

We can't know which side to feed until we become aware that we have a shadow side. This is not something we can affirm and deny away. We must know in our hearts what Debbie Ford wrote about in her book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, that we do have a dark side and we need to integrate it into our whole self. How do we know the nature of our shadow side? Debbie Ford offered the following exercise:

To expose your hidden qualities, create two lists. Make one list of people you admire and the qualities you see in them. Next, make a list of people you don't like and the qualities they have that make you really angry and upset.

They may be people you know personally or people like Gandhi or Hitler. What qualities do you most admire and what qualities upset and make you angry? You get the picture: it's the mirror image. We can't see something good or bad in another unless we have those qualities, as well.

Make a conscious choice about which of your internal wolves you will feed, and you will find yourself on the path to wholeness. Prayer and meditation is how I feed my peace-maker; meditation reduces tension and allows me to be more of who God created me to be.

Love & blessings,
Rev. Debbie